Are You Disconnected?

Do you love your body for all it does for you, or do you only ever focus on all its faults, pains or discomforts? 

Do you just see your body as the ‘thing’ that gets you from A to B or the ‘shell’ that holds that wonderful brain of yours?

If this resonates with you, then like me, you are probably living with a high level of disconnection from your body. This is not unusual when you are a ‘thinking’ type of person, or if you have experienced physical or sexual assault or trauma in your life.

Our bodies retain a lot of information and emotion and by giving our bodies attention, it can bring up uncomfortable feelings. But there are great risks and dangers living without any body awareness. Ignoring the physicality of our bodies and living purely in our intellect can leave us unbalanced and unaware of developing injuries or even sicknesses. 

Last night this became so evident to me when I went to my usual yoga class. I usually go to yoga once to twice a week but haven’t for the past 3 months because I have had so many other things on. During the class I realised something quite profound…I have not been very loving to my body lately. 

I am currently setting up a business and it has been all consuming and I have found I have become quite obsessive in my approach. I am also finding it hard to unwind and chill out and I have completely relegated my body to the back part of my brain i.e. I have given my body no attention or focus at all! 

Not only is this ‘out of whack’ focus causing me to start to feel physical pain, I am not as happy as I used to be because I have lost my centre, I have lost my balance. I know it is time to slow everything down, turn my attention inwards and respect and honour all the wonderful things my body does for me. It is time to start to re-engage with my body and the happiness, relaxation and pleasure it adds to my life.  

Can you relate? How long has it been since you were actually aware of how your body is experiencing life?  

If it has been too long, then maybe you could start doing what I am trying…bring more awareness to your body. I am doing this in simple ways, like noticing the feel of water on my skin in the shower in the morning, instead of it being a frenetic time of mentally trying to work out what has to be done in the day and how I am going to do it all! 

I am also trying to notice how food tastes and feels when I eat it, rather than just gobbling it down and having no real recollection of any sensations except to register that I am full. One way I am doing this is putting my knife and fork down during bites so I can focus and be in the present moment. 

I am surprised I have let my life get so out of balance. It was this lack of balance that contributed to me getting sick with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome 6 years ago. It seems I have been swept up in the excitement of life and possibilities and have got back into bad habits. Time to re-shift the focus... 

How about you?   

Jess xxx

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Why Exercise Shouldn’t Be Hard Work

"The reason I exercise is for the quality of life I enjoy" 

Kenneth H. Cooper 

Most people have a love or hate relationship with exercise, but what if we called exercise, ‘body movement’ instead? What if we focused on finding activities that move our bodies, but didn’t feel like ‘exercise?’ What if exercise didn’t need to feel like hard work?

There is no question that moving the body is vital to our physical wellbeing but it is also a non-negotiable if you want a healthy and happy brain. Exercise has proven to be an effective way to ward off and manage depression, and generally makes us feel great. Exercise contributes to a great quality of life. So how can we incorporate movement into our regular routines? 

Start by doing something you love. 

What activities allow you to move your body but you don’t think of as ‘exercise’? For me dancing is one of my loves and it feels ‘effortless’ to me, in a way that going to the gym never will. Swimming is another activity that I love for the sensation of moving through water, the cardio workout is just a bonus! 

The trick is to try a type of body movement that is something you love, something you enjoy and something you look forward to doing. When we love something, we are internally motivated to do them and we will continue to do them, and that is the key to keeping up any routine. 

I hear so many women say they struggle to find the motivation to exercise, but by moving our bodies in a way that we enjoy, we can start to break down some of the internal resistance we often come up against when we start to think about exercise.   

There is so much in life that is genuinely hard work, but living well is about limiting the amount of things we feel we ‘should’ be doing, and increasing the amount of things we love doing and exercise should be part of that approach. 

When we enjoy the way we move our body it increases our happiness, optimism and health. How can you start moving your body this week, and do it with a smile on your face? :-)

Jess xxx

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Make Yourself Happy Today

Back when I was at university, I rented a house with two girls. Each Sunday the local florist would sell their flowers cheaply, and each Sunday the girls would do their shopping and come home with beautiful bunches of bright flowers. They would arrange them in vases and enjoy them for the next week or so.

I found this surprising…

Since when did women buy flowers for themselves?

Photo Credit: Karen via Flickr CC

Both girls at the time didn’t have partners, so I assumed that was why they bought themselves flowers. Initially I thought it was a little sad, because I was of the belief that if you wanted to enjoy flowers you needed to wait for that ‘special someone’ to give them to you. There was a problem with my way of thinking though…

I love having fresh flowers in my home; they make me happy and remind me that the world is a beautiful place. The problem was, however, that even though I had a boyfriend, I had only ever received flowers twice in the two years we had been together.

Was he a bad boyfriend? No, not at all.

Was it stupid of me to wait till he thought to give me flowers before I could enjoy the happiness they bring me? Yes, definitely.

I know I’m not the only woman who feels this way about flowers. The problem is many men don’t feel the same way. Flowers aren’t often the first thing they think of when buying you a present. Is there a problem with this? No.

What is a problem though is denying yourself something you love and that brings you joy when it is well within your own reach to make it happen. It only takes $6 to buy a beautiful bunch of Gerberas.

But this isn’t just about flowers, is it? Why do we wait or rely on another person to make us happy? Why do we take such a passive role in our lives sometimes?

I’m not just talking about women either. It’s never a healthy move to defer your happiness to someone else. It’s never a good idea to expect someone to ‘make’ you happy. Not only will you be disappointed, because people aren’t perfect, but it’s an unfair amount of pressure to put on someone else.

I’m not saying that we shouldn’t enjoy happiness from those around us and from the relationships we are in...far from it. Relationships are the main area of our lives from which we derive happiness. What I am saying is we shouldn’t look solely to others to fill any ‘gaps’ in our lives.

I dislike when people get married or start a relationship and say the other person had made them ‘whole.’ What a burden for the other person. Relationships challenge you to be better but they shouldn’t ‘complete’ you or make you ‘whole.’ What happens if those relationships change or end for some reason?

“Make yourself happy. Don’t wait for someone else to step into your life before you begin to enjoy the things you love, the things that bring you joy.”

This Friday is Valentine’s Day. Whether you are with someone or not, know that the best way to enjoy happiness in life is to first make yourself happy. The beauty of happy people is they attract other happy people and the cycle is self-perpetuating.

Want more love, excitement and happiness in your life? Go out and get it…like attracts like. (Of yeah, and if you love flowers buy yourself a bunch this week).

xxx Jess xxx

Yoga For Life: Discovering Hope and Healing

Out this week, Australian Yoga Life's latest edition, featuring my article "Yoga For Life: Discovering Hope and Healing." In this article I speak with three amazing women who have found life-changing improvements to their physical and mental wellbeing through yoga. Grab a copy at your local newsagents from December 5th or from Australian Yoga Life. Happy reading.

xxx Jessica Stead xxx 

 

Are You A Worry Wart?

I am posting this quote today because I needed reminding myself. I find that my modus operandi is often to assume the worst. I often completely forget to consider the best case scenario.

It’s not because I am a negative person, I just feel that in order to be responsible and accountable I need to try to make good decisions. I feel that part of that process is seeing what decisions may lead to negative consequences. So, by default I focus on the negatives. 

This is fine to do…up to a point. It’s necessary to think through your decisions, but it’s important for your health and happiness to make sure your analysis of a decision is balanced.

Spend time thinking about the worst case scenario and how you might manage if something negative happened, but then switch your brain over to thinking about the best case scenario.

When you fail to consider the best case scenario you miss out on imagining future happiness and fulfilment. Your negative fixation can stop you from making certain decisions which could be of great benefit to you.

Think carefully about decisions yes, but don't allow your brain to only focus on the negatives. In any situation there is always so much to be gained…don’t let fear hold you back.

Jessica Stead xxx

Coffee anyone…?

Do you love coffee as much as I do? You might be surprised to learn that coffee can actually be good for you. Read why in my latest article "More Than Just Your Daily Caffeine Hit...? Discover the Hidden Health Benefits of Coffee."

Jessica Stead xxx